Anti-America’s Top Ten Countdown: January 19, 2025 Edition
It’s that time of the week again: Sunday. And that can only mean one thing. It’s time for Anti-America’s Top Ten Countdown, during which I list the most important news stories that every progressive needs to know. Without further ado, let’s go. Countdown number ten!
Chicago skyline, image taken from TripAdvisor.
10: RAIDERS OF THE WINDY CITY
According to the Wall Street Journal, President-elect Donald Trump and his goons plans to begin deportation raids immediately after taking office. Their first target will be multiple locations in Chicago. Knowing that immigrant and racial minority communities swung greatly toward Trump in the most recent election (as did most other groups, to be fair), my sympathy is very limited. To those families who will be torn apart through no fault of their own, I hold a great deal of sorrow in my heart. As horrifying as it is that Trump’s going to send his foot soldiers into liberal cities and Democrats are likely only going to obey in advance, I will say this: If you supported this policy through your vote, and your family gets torn apart, I only have so many fucks to give. The leopards are hungry, and they will eat well. Countdown number nine!
Mark Carney, likely Canada’s next Prime Minister. Image taken from the Associated Press.
9: O CANADA! CAN I JOIN YOU?
As we covered last week, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced his resignation, and former bank governor Mark Carney is likely to take his place. Now, I don’t know too much about Mark Carney, but he seems to be far more popular than Trudeau. This notion is supported by evidence that polls may be narrowing. It’s long been my belief that the Canadian Conservatives were riding a sugar high and that if and when Trump won in the United States, Pierre Poilievre’s numbers would fall like a freight elevator whose chains had been cut. That’s exactly what’s happening now, and since Canada is basically a sane, kind version of America, the voters are going to reject Poilievre’s brand of politics. But even if they don’t, the worst case scenario is that the Conservatives pass some unpopular things and get voted out a few years later. We’re in far more trouble south of the border. Countdown number eight.
A copy of Project 2025, taken from the NPR website.
8: THE UNCIVIL SERVICE
Well, to those of you who refused to vote for Harris because “Project 2025 is never going to happen”, I hope you’ve realized just how wrong you were. Before the 2024 election, Trump publicized his plan to replace the civil service, career bureaucrats who are traditionally in their positions regardless of whether the President is a Democrat or a Republican, with loyalists. This is evidenced by this report that Trump’s team has been interrogating civil servants about who they voted for in the most recent election. The dangers of this cannot be overstated - there’s going to be absolutely nothing preventing Trump from having his goons fire on peaceful protestors, for instance. Of course, however, the cruelty is the point, and for those idiots who fell for it and didn’t vote for Harris (or even voted for Trump), then I’m not going to cry when you’re targeted. Because we warned you it was coming, and you didn’t listen. Countdown number seven.
A September 2024 missile strike on Kyiv, Ukraine. Image taken from BBC News.
7: THE WAR GOES ON
Now, believe it or not, the war in Ukraine is still going on. In fact, with Trump threatening to withhold military aid from Ukraine (and possibly even aid Russia), there’s every chance the war will escalate to threaten the rest of Europe. Yesterday, Russia attacked the civilian capital of Kyiv , killing several and injuring several more. It sickens me that the world (or at least the United States) seems to have forgotten about the Russian invasion of Ukraine when it’s more brutal and depraved than ever. After targeting civilians so many times, people have just grown numb to it all. Russia must be stopped, but if anything, they’re likely to start World War III, and we’ll have an Axis of Evil with Russia and the United States against our former European allies. This was yet another reason why Trump could not be allowed to return to power, but we let him back in with open arms. Absolutely disgraceful. Countdown number six.
Outgoing President Joe Biden announcing the ceasefire agreement in the Israel-Hamas War, flanked by Kamala Harris and Antony Blinken. Image taken from Maine Public’s website.
6: TOO FUCKING LATE
The main reason the Russian invasion of Ukraine is hardly in the news anymore is because the conflict between Israel and Hamas (and the genocide in Gaza) has taken its position among the headlines. However, apparently they’ve reached a ceasefire deal to end the fighting for six weeks and release the remaining hostages. Now, it’s good that the fighting will stop, at least temporarily, and it’s good that the hostages are being released. However, this item would be a lot higher on the list if I actually expected the ceasefire to hold. Furthermore, let’s be real: The Israeli genocide in Gaza is one of the most important reasons Trump won the election back in November. Once Trump takes office, he is going to let Netanyahu turn Gaza into a parking lot, and the pro-Palestine protestors who burned the country down to spite Harris are going to be totally silent. I’d bet my life that this ceasefire won’t last very long. Countdown number five.
A comparison of the 2009 (Obama) and 2017 (Trump) inauguration crowds, taken from PBS New.
5: ALTERNATIVE FACTS, REDUX
Due to the allegedly severe weather in Washington, DC, it’s been announced that Trump’s second inauguration tomorrow will take place indoors. Now, a little snowstorm didn’t stop William Henry Harrison from giving a really long speech outdoors for his inauguration, even if it did stop his life a few weeks later. But this isn’t really about the weather. It’s about the crowd size. Namely, Trump is worried the crowd size will have suffered some “shrinkage” since 2017. To hold the ceremonies outdoors would require Donald Trump to have some honesty and integrity, and we all know he’s got not a single iota of either in his body. No, this is about his image, plain and simple. I’m sorry, Sean Spicer, but you’re not going to be able to push any alternative facts this time. Countdown number four.
A meme about bird flu taken from Redbubble.
4: FOR THE BIRDS
Bird flu hasn’t yet mutated to the point where it can spread easily between humans. However, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. And while I’m no virologist, it seems like with four years of anti-vaxxers and raw milk lovers Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in charge of the country’s public health policy, it’ll get plenty of chances to mutate to such a form. When that happens, we’re all fucked. It seems like many people have forgotten this happened. Clearly they forgot, because otherwise they wouldn’t have voted for Trump again. But Trump suggested injecting bleach and did nothing about the COVID-19 pandemic when he knew he had to get reelected. And if H5N1 becomes a pandemic on anything remotely resembling the scale of COVID, do you seriously expect Trump to do anything productive about the virus? Of course not. His second term is all about revenge, and he’ll ban vaccines even as the general public begs for them. And if you want a vaccine, too bad. The day to request them for the whole country was November 5, 2024. Countdown number three.
An infamous photo of Donald Trump at a 2018 G7 meeting, taken from BBC News.
3: AMERICA LAST
America’s traditional allies are expressing deep concern again, and why shouldn’t they be? At a time when the world must confront Vladimir Putin (whom Trump supports and will probably send troops to support in Ukraine), and at a time when the climate crisis is increasingly dire (which Trump doesn’t even believe in), half of America voted to burn the whole world down. Literally. During Trump’s first term, the United States was increasingly a pariah on the world stage, and it’s going to be far worse this time. The voters have proven that their decision to elect a madman was not an aberration. Americans actively love this man. Remember when the rest of the world closed their borders to us during COVID? Well, even if there is no pandemic in the next four years, they have every right to do so again. Trump keeps talking of invading Mexico and making Canada the 51st state. We are a pariah on the scale of North Korea, and unlike North Korean civilians, we freely choose this. Countdown number two.
Mario and Yoshi duking it out in Tick Tock Hop, a duel minigame from Mario Party 3 (N64). Image taken from Super Mario Wiki.
2: TICK TOCK HOP
I’m not talking about Mario Party here. I’m talking about the app that got banned this morning for “security reasons” even if the U.S. government does nothing about expensive health care or school shootings. Well, I don’t believe the government cares about national security, even if TikTok is a cancer on society by decimating the average attention span. But wait: The plot thickens! A few hours before I post this article, TikTok’s service has been restored in the United States, and the owners have posted a statement thanking Trump to every user who logs back on. So Donald Trump, who started the effort to ban TikTok in the first place, is now going to get credit for saving it. Make it make sense! Nothing about this country makes sense, but that’s America for you. Trump is going to be far more popular this term than he was the first time, and it’s a damning indictment on the American public. Countdown number one.
Joe Biden during his infamous June 2024 debate with Donald Trump. Image taken from NBC News.
1: JOE WAS BIDEN HIS TIME TOO LONG
I’m not going to say that Joe Biden was the second-worst President after Trump, nor do I regret voting for him in 2020. However, it’s clear that Biden was not the right man for the moment. At a time when Trump had to be arrested and imprisoned for inciting an attempted violent coup on January 6, Biden appointed lame-ass Merrick Garland to be his Attorney General. Now, I wish he were on the Supreme Court right now, but Garland did a terrible job as Attorney General, waiting until way too late to hold Trump accountable for his numerous crimes. But Biden himself is hardly blameless, having run for reelection when he knew he was mentally unfit to take on Donald Trump, then dropping out when it was too late to save his party. Joe Biden will leave office tomorrow, and while he did some good things as the 46th President of the United States, his legacy is irrevocably tainted by his failure to prevent Trump’s return. The tragic irony is that he won the 2020 primary largely on presenting himself as the most electable candidate who would deny Trump a second term, and yet he’s now the reason Trump will have a second term. Let’s Go Brandon!
