Anti-America’s Top Ten Countdown: Week 3
It’s that time of the week again, so it’s time for Anti-America’s Top Ten Countdown. These are the top ten news stories that every progressive member of the resistance needs to know for the week ending November 17, 2024. At times like these, it’s very important to stay informed no matter how depressing the news is. And most of these stories are pretty depressing, but that goes with the territory right now. So here we go; countdown number ten!
Google Search trendline for “how to change my vote”, taken from the Latin Times.
10: BUYER BEWARE.
Over the last week or so, we’ve gotten many stories about how people are searching for terms like “how to change their vote” or “what are tariffs.” And I’ve got two words for these people: Fuck. Off. Seriously, you couldn’t be bothered to do even a tiny bit of research before you cast your ballot? You took the time to go to your polling place, or request a mail-in ballot, and you didn’t realize that your decision was final?
Look, it should go without saying that elections have consequences. If they didn’t, there’d be no reason to hold them. But you need to think about what these consequences might be before you vote, not after. I always knew that the American electorate was stupid, but I guess I just didn’t know how stupid. You’ve made this mess, and now we’ll have to clean it up even in the most optimistic potential scenario. Countdown number nine.
Official US Senate portrait for Senator John Thune (R-SD) taken from his Senate website.
9: THUNE TOWN
The Senate Republican conference has selected John Thune of South Dakota to be their new Majority Leader. He defeated Rick Scott, who was seen as the more extreme option, in the leadership race. But don’t let that fool you. He may not look like Voldemort (sorry for the Harry Potter reference), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t dangerous. In fact, I’d argue he’s more dangerous than Rick Scott would have been.
Thune isn’t going to tank his caucus’ popularity the way Scott might. He may not be charismatic, but he doesn’t need to be in order to fill all those judicial seats and fuck this country over to an even greater extent. Already, he’s embraced the idea of recess appointments for Trump’s horrific Cabinet picks. This is especially dangerous because individual GOP Senators will not have to go on the record supporting or opposing them, insulating them from public backlash that might come from confirming people like RFK Jr. But we’ll get to that later. Countdown number eight.
An example of a racist text message sent to a black voter after the 2024 election, taken from ABC-7 News.
8: SUFFOCATE ON YOUR OWN HATE
It’s no secret that systemic racism is a stain on the U.S. nation that has never really been washed away. In many ways, we’re still suffering from the fact that we were conceived as a slave society. It’s shocking, but perhaps not surprising, that in the immediate aftermath of the election of such a horribly bigoted man, hateful people would feel emboldened to spew their vile beliefs and enforce them upon the rest of us.
Keep in mind that these bigots do all of this with the explicit support of the President-elect. It seems people have already forgotten when he stood there in the immediate aftermath of the Charlottesville hate rally and said there were “very fine people on both sides.” They’ve already forgotten when he told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by.” And I’m not going to absolve the individual texters of their responsibility for this act of psychological terror. But the fact remains that when the President of the United States speaks, people listen. He’s one of the most prominent people in the world, after all, and thanks to the Supreme Court, he’s now easily the most powerful. Countdown number seven.
Bugs Bunny about to saw off Florida from the rest of the country. That’s a public service if you ask me.
7: BUGS BUNNY, YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE.
In the recent election, Florida gave presidential nominee Donald Trump 56 percent of the vote, and Senator Rick Scott 55.6 percent of the vote. Both men are climate-denying Republicans. This is despite the fact that Tropical Storm Sara is heading for impact in Florida right now. Hell, have these people already forgotten about Hurricane Milton? Apparently so!
We keep hearing in the news about how Florida is becoming uninsurable due to the numerous climate change risks facing the state. And yet, they keep voting for Republicans by ever-increasing margins despite this. Florida is a dumping ground for the red-hats and anti-intellectuals of the United States, and if they want to leech off FEMA support whenever they get a hurricane, they might as well secede. But then they’ll come crying back to Uncle Sam, and I’ll have no sympathy for them. I wish Bugs Bunny were real so he could save the rest of America from the scourge that is Florida. Countdown number six.
Alex Jones yells about something. Taken from NYT.
6: KEEPING UP WITH MR. JONES
Here’s the only cheery story for this week. After liquidating all his assets to pay the grieving Sandy Hook families he defamed, Alex Jones was forced to sell his cesspit of a website known as InfoWars. It was bought by a satirical magazine you might have heard of - The Onion. Every time there’s a high-profile shooting, The Onion runs their classic headline “No Way To Prevent This, Says Only Country Where This Regularly Happens”. That’s about the only thing they post that doesn’t feel like satire.
This is the one good thing to come out of the last few weeks. Alex Jones is going to get what he deserves, which is to have his media empire destroyed and ridiculed. Reportedly they’ll make it a gun safety advocacy website, which is a far more productive use of Internet bandwidth. For the record, I’ve watched the documentary The Truth vs. Alex Jones, and it just made my skin crawl. What a despicable man. Countdown number five.
Donald Trump with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., taken from USA Today.
5: POLIO PARTY JAMBOREE
In last week’s countdown, I wrote about RFK Jr.’s brain worms as the number five spot. Now that Trump has officially selected this anti-vaxxer as the Secretary of Health and Human Services, I thought it was only fitting that he be number five again.
Excuse me, we’ll have an anti-vaccine activist in charge of public health in this country? Yes, we will. Even if he doesn’t ban all vaccines, he can still do a lot of damage to public health by promoting the notion that vaccines cause autism and whatnot. The anti-vaccine movement killed more than enough people during the COVID-19 pandemic, thank you very much. Now, with bird flu emerging as a pandemic threat, it looks like we might well have a sequel. And this time, it’ll start here. We truly live in the darkest timeline, and I hope that the protest voters who thought “both candidates are the same” go fuck themselves with cacti. Countdown number four.
Tulsi Gabbard at a Trump rally. Taken from PBS.
4: PARIAH CAREY
At a time when the United States is engaged in a proxy war with Russia that could turn into World War III any day now, at a time when we need to support Ukraine more than ever, we elected a pro-Russian President. That’s bad enough. But that President is going to appoint Tulsi Gabbard, a noted Russian asset who spreads conspiracy theories about the war in Ukraine , to be Director of National Intelligence.
Effectively, he could just name Putin in that role and be done with it. If there was any hope that our relationships with allies could be salvaged following his first term, that hope has now been dashed. The odds that any NATO country will share intelligence with us is now less than zero, and Trump voters have themselves to blame for that. If the effects of Trump’s tariffs aren’t bad enough on the economy, we’re now likely to get sanctioned just as much as Russia is. But if you didn’t vote for Harris, you have no right to complain about that! The United States is no longer a laughing stock, we are now a pariah. Countdown number three.
Matt Gaetz. Enough said.
3: GAETZ OF HELL.
Trump has also picked Matt Gaetz to be his Attorney General. Forget Matt Gaetz’s personal life for a moment, forget that the tapes suggest he’s had sex with minors. Gaetz is a Trump loyalist to the core, and he’s going to use his position to go after anyone who opposes Trump. Some people are optimistic about the 2026 elections, but I’m not. Trump will use Gaetz to go after his political opponents, and he’ll throw anyone who is an electoral threat to a Republican in prison. We’ll never have another free and fair election again, and it’s all because of November 5.
And remember, he’s also a sex offender. The release of the House Ethics Committee report to that effect is going to be blocked so that he can be confirmed. If you vote for clowns, you’re going to get a circus. Quite frankly, we’ll be lucky if a circus is all we get for the next four years and beyond. There’s a special place in hell for people who voted for Trump because it was funny, or sat out the election because “both parties are the same.” I don’t give a fuck. Countdown number two.
Image of Trump as an African-style dictator, taken from BBC News.
2: AND THE STREETS RUN RED.
It’s been reported that Trump has drafted a day-one executive order to fire any military generals he dislikes. He’ll replace them all with loyalists.Senator Tommy Tuberville (blech) blocked military promotions last year, and that wasn’t about abortion at all. He wanted to make it easier for Trump to stack the department with loyalists as part of Project 2025. This is Project 2025 right here, and that’s what a plurality voted for. So protest voters, go get that cactus. I’m waiting.
Moreover, the fact that he’ll fire all disloyal generals should make you panic. There’s nothing to stop Trump from ordering the military to fire on civilians who peacefully protest his policies. If the general says no, Trump will fire that general and replace him with someone who will. The streets will run red with the blood of Trump’s enemies, and we’ll be a war zone just like Ukraine. The only difference is that unlike Ukraine, we chose to make our country a war zone. Given that Trump won the popular vote, this is what we deserve. I’m not okay with it, but it’s what we’ll get thanks to the protest voters. Take that cactus and shove it up your ass if you didn’t vote for Harris.
Joe Biden and Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office like they’re best buddies. Taken from r/Pics.
1: JOE BIDEN, LEGACY OF AN IDIOT
I voted for Joe Biden in the 2020 general election, but it’s clear now that he wasn’t up to the task that needed to be done. The image above really says it all, because Joe Biden has not stood up to the occasion.
When Republicans across the country increasingly criminalize the LGBTQ+ community, Biden does nothing. I get that there’s only so much he could have done to stop state-level laws, but he barely said a word about them. And now that Trump is about to be President, there is nothing he can do at all. But Biden’s probably fine with that. He’s about to be 82 years old and was going to be okay regardless of the election results. The rest of us may not be.
LGBTQ+ rights are not the only issue Biden has failed us on. Remember when Biden commissioned a report about Supreme Court reform in 2021? Well, it was totally toothless. Again, just like lots of other politicians, because he isn’t directly affected by these issues, he doesn’t care. I honestly wonder what he did all day in the White House - play Scrabble with Jill? Say what you will about Trump, but when he wanted to do something highly dangerous in his first term, he exhausted every possible avenue to find a way. And now that he’ll have the courts even more in his corner, he is going to find a way far more often than not.
I hope that cactus feels good, protest voters.
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